How Can I Weigh Advice From My Doctor Against Advice From My Family? 

Medical care is not one-size-fits-all. A medical oncologist explains how to choose the best treatment for you. 

Being diagnosed with cancer can be overwhelming — and often, well-meaning friends or family members who’ve faced similar diagnoses want to share advice about what treatments to pursue or avoid. But what happens when their recommendations differ from your doctor’s? Who should you listen to? 

“It’s a very common situation for patients to receive advice from their family members and then struggle to balance that with what their doctor has recommended,” says Umair U. Ghani, MD, a medical oncologist who treats patients in Orange County at Keck Medicine of USC – Irvine and Keck Medicine of USC – Newport Beach, both part of the USC Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center and Keck Medicine of USC. “In these moments, it’s our role as physicians to help patients navigate those conversations, providing education and guidance toward a treatment plan that is personalized to their needs.”  

Knowing the source of your information is essential, Dr. Ghani emphasizes. “As your doctor, I rely on evidence-based medicine to make recommendations,” he says. “We use clinical trial data, research findings and years of experience to design a care plan tailored specifically to your condition.” 

By contrast, advice from family or friends — though often shared with love — may not be appropriate for your particular diagnosis, stage or medical history, he notes. Also, when it comes to receiving advice from a family member or friend, you might not know where they are getting their advice from or whether their source of information is a reputable medical source. 

“That’s not to say you should automatically discredit all medical advice from family members,” Dr. Ghani says. Sometimes family members do have valuable insights or observations to share that can be helpful to you and worth discussing.  

“If you’re receiving conflicting opinions, bring them to your doctor so they can help you sort through and prioritize what makes the most sense for your health,” Dr. Ghani advises. In some cases, your doctor can organize a family meeting to address everyone’s questions together. “This can help ensure everyone is on the same page and that decisions are made collaboratively,” he says. 

Sorting through multiple opinions can be stressful, but remember: your doctor is your partner in care. They are there to help you make informed choices grounded in research and aligned with your goals. 

“The most important thing you can do is be open with your doctor about the other advice you’re hearing,” Dr. Ghani says. “That transparency allows us to work together to determine the safest and most effective plan for your health.” 

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